Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Obama's New Jobs Program


So now we know what Mr. Obama's new jobs program is. Put guitar makers out of business. Specifically Gibson guitars, but if you make guitars, and didn't contribute to the Obama campaign, you may be next. In fact, if you run any business and did not contribute to Obama, you may be next.

According to the Department of Agriculture, food stamps are a jobs program. The Secretary of Agriculture, Tom Vilsack, actually said the other day, as if he believed it, that every dollar spent in food stamps generates a dollar and eighty-four cents in economic activity. We should be ecstatic then, that the Department of Fish and Wildlife, under the direction of the Department of Justice, swooped in to Gibson Guitar's three plants yesterday, and confiscated all of their ebony and rosewood, idling 1,000 workers. Just think about all that economic activity that will be created when those 1,000 workers get on the food stamp program!

At issue, apparently is the Lacy Act. The Lacy Act says that certain imported items cannot be imported in violation of the exporting country's law. The ebony and rosewood in question are products of India, and even though Gibson has documentation from the Indian government stating the the wood was legally imported by Gibson, and its export from India does not violate Indian law, the Department of Justice apparently knows better than the Indian government what Indian law is, and Gibson is violating it. We should all be happy then, that we have 1,000 potential new food stamp recipients to generate $1.84 in economic activity for each $1.00 in food stamp money they spend.

Following this logic, it is clear that the Obama Administration's new jobs program is to create as many unemployed food stamp recipients as possible so as to create all that economic activity! That would explain the silence about GE sending thousands of high paying avionics jobs to China last week. Just think about all those people who will not be getting those jobs here, so they can continue to receive food stamps and create economic activity. Rejoice in the fact that the Department of Labor will not allow Boeing to expand its plant in South Carolina. That is many more people who are now creating economic activity by remaining on the food stamp program instead of having good, high paying jobs. How fortunate they are in South Carolina that we have such a forward thinking administration! Following this logic to its ultimate conclusion, it is obvious that we should, for the good of the country, all quit our jobs and go on food stamps! What economic activity we would create! Why there would be jobs for everyone. But wait, if there would be jobs for everyone if we were all on food stamps, who would take them? And wouldn't it be counter productive to go to work, when food stamps are what creates the economic activity? Oh never mind that, who cares where the money comes from to provide the food stamps. The government will just print it I guess. Free cheese for everyone!

But who would make the cheese? I guess the government would print that too. Well Mr. Obama said we don't need to worry about that, we are too busy and needn't try to understand such complicated problems. We should just concentrate on raising our families, and doing what we do every day, and let our benefactors in the government worry about such things. Whew, that's a load off my mind.

Of course what the Department of Agriculture is missing, is that in order to give the newly unemployed Guitar worker one dollar in food stamps, it must first be taken out of the hands of an employed taxpayer by the Government. That, of course, means the dollar and eighty four cents in economic activity created in the spending of a food stamp dollar is really only eighty-four cents. If one follows the math on this, one sees that the dollar in food stamps actually costs the economy sixteen cents in activity. To be fair, no one ever accused this administration of having a firm grasp on the principals of mathematics.

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